The Role of Feelings in Relation to Addictive Behavior

According to Dr. Chérie-Scott, Negaholic Specialist, the first step to overcoming negativity is to ask yourself “am I willing to start feeling?” Of course you might say, “I do feel. I cry at movies. I get angry in traffic. I empathize with my friends. I love my cat.” Yes, you feel to a degree, but when I’m talking about is a little different. I’m talking about a way of life that is committed to experience, communicating, and expressing your feelings. Specifically, it means being painfully honest. It doesn’t mean brutally honest, it means honoring your own reality.

The choice for Barbara was whether to feel and honor her inner truth regardless of what it was, or to save face, cut off the feelings, be strong and cold and tough. She weighed the pros and cons carefully before she chose. Barbara chose to take the risk of being human. This was a turning point in her life. She made a deliberate choice to feel and honor her inner truth rather than be cool and behave in an acceptable manner. This was a breakthrough for Barbara.

Feelings Are Not Thoughts

Feelings and thought are different. Thoughts, by definition, are rational, reasonable, and logical. Feelings are not rational, reasonable, or logical. To try to make sense out of your feelings is like trying to get cream from cabbage. By the same token, feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. We spend so much time and energy trying to figure out what our feelings mean, whether they are right, logical, or make sense, when the real truth about feelings is that they don’t make sense. Childish misunderstandings and miscommunications happen every day. People get hurt, sad, angry, and upset all the time. That is not the issue. The real issue is how we deal or don’t deal with our feelings.

Feelings are Purposeful

Feelings are fundamental to the negaholic recovery and in overcoming negativity. Sorting out, acknowledging, expressing, and communicating feelings are essential to the health of every organism, every person, family, or organization. Dealing with the innermost feelings in an honest and straightforward manner is fundamental to the health and proper functioning of an entity.

Feelings exist to orient and reorient you to yourself and your world. They connect you with your inner truth regardless of whether it is “right” or “wrong.” They also integrate you with your essential self. By allowing and releasing your feelings, you become free to live life fully. Your feelings give you immediate feedback regarding your relationship with yourself and others. Your sense of well being with yourself has greater impact on your happiness and fulfillment than anything else, and it is feelings that give you important information about your condition and well-being.

Forgotten Feelings Feed the Negaholic

Feeling: Knowing them, getting in touch with them, and managing them so that they work for you is pivotal to the negaholic recovery process. If you are disconnected from your feelings and automatically pursue mood alterators, then you encourage negaholic behavior. Remember, all addictive behavior is motivated by either the pursuit of or avoidance of a feeling. All addictions are geared to relieving, avoiding, or anesthetizing a feeling. So being aware and monitoring your feelings is fundamental to overcoming negativity. Since people infrequently discuss feelings, they are often at a loss as to the labels to assign to what they are feeling. The list is geared to help you sort our and label what you are feeling. Once you’ve found your feelings, then it is time to manage the voices in your head.